Botanical Tacos for Burglars

Here are just some of the highlights from the past week:

Yesterday while walking home from the park. Isaac was on my shoulders.

(In a whisper): "Dad...I love you more than tacos."

From a few days ago. Isaac told me that he had a secret to tell me, so I hunkered down to his level and he said:

"Dad...I love you more than plants."

From earlier this week. I was starving to death and my stomach was beginning to hurt.

Isaac: Why does your stomach hurt?
Me: I'm just really hungry.
Isaac: I will hug your stomach for you so it feels better.
Me: Thanks, buddy.
Isaac: Maybe burglars did it.
Me: What?
Isaac: Maybe a burglar sneaked into the house with a mask and cash and punched your belly while you were sleeping.
Me: Um, maybe.

I couldn't figure out what kind of sadistic burglar would stop at our house on his way home from a big heist just to punch me in the stomach and leave. It couldn't have been a very hard punch seeing as though I never woke up. Then again, maybe Isaac was trying to threaten me in a very subtle manner. Kind of like, "Hey, I'm gonna hire a money hungry dude to come beat you if you don't make with the money, and fast." I guess I'll have to wait and see.

A prankster, he ain't/Love in the time of Lockheed-Martin

Isaac's preschool is fantastic. He loves it. Brenda and I love it. Everyone is happy. One of the best parts is the way they acknowledge nearly every holiday. For instance, this past Monday, the same Leprechaun who wreaked havoc just twelve days before turned everyone's milk green and left green footprints on the floor. Now that's dedication. Even after St. Patrick's Day was close to two weeks past, the staff kept it coming. That being said, I wasn't too surprised when Isaac offered his best attempt at comedy on April Fool's Day.

Isaac: Hey, Dad. You have a...um...spider in your hair.
Me: What?
Isaac: Um...uh...FOOLS!!!!
Me: HA! I think you mean 'April Fool's."
Isaac: Oh, yeah. Dad, you have a brontosaurus on your head.
Me: I do?
Isaac: April Fool's!
Me: That's it!

I'm honestly relieved that he's terrible at this kind of thing. That will save him a lot of grief when he gets older.

A few nights ago, it was my turn to put Isaac to bed. We played school for a little bit and then we played a card game that Isaac made up which is kind of like 'Go-Fish" but uses 'Skip-Bo' cards. Oh, and the players must talk in cowboy voices. I know...AWESOME!!! Anyway, we got done with all the playing so the time to be tucked in came. Isaac gave me a big hug and then the following happened.

Me: I love you soooo much, buddy.
Isaac: I love you, too. Do you know how much?
Me: How much?
Isaac: I love you more than guns.
Me: Oh, good.
Isaac: And jerks.
Me: Great.
Isaac: Yeah, I love you more than those, 'cause they're bad.

At least I know where I stand: Ahead of guns and jerks, but probably right below irritable bowel syndrome.