Look out, Head & Shoulders.

Me: Alright, time to wash your hair.

Isaac: I don't want to wash my hair.

Me: Why not?

Isaac: Because when I put shampoo on my head, it feels like zombies kissing my brain.

Me: That sounds kind of cozy.

I was going to include an image of a zombie with soap/shampoo all over him/herself but couldn't find anything suitable. I was surprised, however, at some of the images that came up when I googled "zombie shower." There were more images depicting sex outside of showers than there were images of shower/soap-related activities...or zombies, for that matter Weird.

Somebody must inform Ted Nugent.

Right as I was getting ready to start this post, I realized that my last post, like this one, had to do with Isaac's vast imagination. So, without further ado, here yet another installment of Isaac's patented brand of psychedelic storytelling; complete with my own editorials:

Isaac: Hey, dad.

Me: Yeah?

Isaac: Did I tell you what happened when I went to grammy's house a couple of weeks ago?

Me: What was that?

Isaac: Um, grammy took me for a walk in the forest. (This is total bullshit. My parents live nowhere near a forest and they certainly would not be walking through said forest even if one was handy.) And we saw a little squirrel.

Me: OK?

Isaac: And I bent down to pet it. (Again, this never could have happened. We have about a half-dozen very brazen squirrels around our house who couldn't care less about people. They just like to sift through our compost pile and rummage through our recycling. One actually pulled a knife on me last week (OK...this is not true.).)

Me: Really?

Isaac: Yeah! And then four hunters came along and one of them put a missile in his gun and shot the squirrel. (Here is where he went for the gold and, unfortunately, it cost him my respect. You see, spinning a yarn is one thing, but lying straight to one's father's face is another. First of all, what squirrel would remain still while not one, but FOUR hunters load weapons of mass destruction into their rifles? Only a dead one. Also, I'd like to think that my mother ("grammy"), would have had the common decency to remove Isaac from the situation rather than supply him with goggles and earplugs as Isaac would probably have me believe. Now, as far as the idea of hunters using excessive force to exterminate a small woodland creature goes, that is totally feasible. Better luck next time, Isaac.)

Me: Wow! That sounds pretty crazy. I'll have to ask grammy about that.

Isaac: No, don't. She was scared.

So it goes. They just keep getting better and better. There are actually a few more stories that I have in the works including an explanation from Isaac as to how veins work. Just wait until you hear that one!