Droppin' science. More specifically, Biology.

Lately, Isaac has some kind of interest in explaining how various bodily processes occur. Not really sure what the basis of his knowledge is, but I'll accept his reasoning. Below is a video in which Isaac explains how babies form.

Not Quite Homophones.

This past August, Isaac began kindergarten. As a result, his desire to write and try to read has exploded. His mother and I find this to be a great thing. Just a week ago, while out and about, Isaac asked if we could buy him a journal and some pencils so he could do his "homework." Of course, we obliged. i took him to the store and let him pick out his own journal and pencils. Since that night, we spend time nearly everyday sitting with Isaac as he sounds out words and writes them down. It's one of the greatest things! He tells us a word and then spells it. We typically coach him, but make him do the work himself. As parents, we are thrilled. The one result of school and his new journal is his expanded vocabulary. He's been using (and trying to use) all kinds of new words that he hears at home and from his teacher. Sometimes, however, he uses the wrong word.

Isaac: Dad...Rosie stinks. Will you light some insects?
Me: Some what?
Isaac: Some instincts?
Me: You mean "incense?"
Isaac: Yeah, she stinks.

Isaac (opening his mouth very wide): Dad, look.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Isaac: How did you know that I have a fossil?
Me: You mean an "ulcer?"
Isaac: Yeah, an ulcer.

God love him. He still speaks more cleverly and coherently than many adults I meet. As a side note, although his fossils are better, Rosie still stinks.

Look out, Head & Shoulders.

Me: Alright, time to wash your hair.

Isaac: I don't want to wash my hair.

Me: Why not?

Isaac: Because when I put shampoo on my head, it feels like zombies kissing my brain.

Me: That sounds kind of cozy.

I was going to include an image of a zombie with soap/shampoo all over him/herself but couldn't find anything suitable. I was surprised, however, at some of the images that came up when I googled "zombie shower." There were more images depicting sex outside of showers than there were images of shower/soap-related activities...or zombies, for that matter Weird.

Somebody must inform Ted Nugent.

Right as I was getting ready to start this post, I realized that my last post, like this one, had to do with Isaac's vast imagination. So, without further ado, here yet another installment of Isaac's patented brand of psychedelic storytelling; complete with my own editorials:

Isaac: Hey, dad.

Me: Yeah?

Isaac: Did I tell you what happened when I went to grammy's house a couple of weeks ago?

Me: What was that?

Isaac: Um, grammy took me for a walk in the forest. (This is total bullshit. My parents live nowhere near a forest and they certainly would not be walking through said forest even if one was handy.) And we saw a little squirrel.

Me: OK?

Isaac: And I bent down to pet it. (Again, this never could have happened. We have about a half-dozen very brazen squirrels around our house who couldn't care less about people. They just like to sift through our compost pile and rummage through our recycling. One actually pulled a knife on me last week (OK...this is not true.).)

Me: Really?

Isaac: Yeah! And then four hunters came along and one of them put a missile in his gun and shot the squirrel. (Here is where he went for the gold and, unfortunately, it cost him my respect. You see, spinning a yarn is one thing, but lying straight to one's father's face is another. First of all, what squirrel would remain still while not one, but FOUR hunters load weapons of mass destruction into their rifles? Only a dead one. Also, I'd like to think that my mother ("grammy"), would have had the common decency to remove Isaac from the situation rather than supply him with goggles and earplugs as Isaac would probably have me believe. Now, as far as the idea of hunters using excessive force to exterminate a small woodland creature goes, that is totally feasible. Better luck next time, Isaac.)

Me: Wow! That sounds pretty crazy. I'll have to ask grammy about that.

Isaac: No, don't. She was scared.

So it goes. They just keep getting better and better. There are actually a few more stories that I have in the works including an explanation from Isaac as to how veins work. Just wait until you hear that one!

Even tusken raiders need to eat.

As Isaac gets older, his imagination gets better. For quite a while now, he has become increasingly more and more interested in making up names for characters who don't really have names. For example, if I was to ask him for the names of the biker scouts in "Return of the Jedi," he would make something up. What's even better is that he ofter creates back-stories for the characters, as well. Today, he did both.

While playing his Star Wars Lego game for the Wii, Isaac called me into the living room to inform me of the following:

The tusken raiders (sand people) were, in fact, brothers who lived together in the desert. He rattled off 4 or 5 names, all ending with "-antro" before telling me that the last brother was named "Cilantro." I reasoned that "Cilantro" must be the chef of the group. Isaac did not correct me, so I trust that my assumption must have been correct.

Hannibal Lecter

If your son or daughter ever asks you to close your eyes and ears, don't do it. I did and it almost cost me my nose.

One evening last week, while Isaac and I were playing, he out of the blue asked if he could bite my nose. This struck me as an odd request, so I just laughed and declined his strange offer.

We continued playing with Legos, or Star Wars figures or plutonium or whatever it was that we were using at the moment, the nose biting offer well behind us. Then, a few minutes later, Isaac asked me to close my eyes. Suspecting nothing out of the ordinary (for some reason), I obliged. His next request should have tipped me off that something weird was going to happen, but again, I obliged. It was only after I felt warm breath on my face that I opened my eyes to find my nose IN Isaac's mouth. He was trying his hardest not to laugh which made the whole scene that much better.

I'm still not sure what triggered his desire to eat my face, but I can appreciate his drive and determination to make his dream a reality.

Now that's no bull!

Isaac (while watching TV): I want to wrestle a bull.
Me: Why?
Isaac (with a "DUH!" tone in his voice): So I can eat it.