At The Movies

Very recently, Isaac and I have found ourselves watching movies together. It's nice when he actually sits down long enough for something like that.

This first one was from a few weeks ago while we were playing with the Moon Sand that her had acquired at his 5 year birthday party. My attention would have been all Isaac's if it wasn't for the relentless action-packed thrill-ride that is "Top Gun." I turned the TV on close to the end when Maverick and Co. were in the midst of a pretty intense dogfight. The pilots were going back and forth screaming various things. At one point, Slider (Iceman's wingman) yelled "Strike Four!" But that's not what Isaac heard.

Isaac: Why did he say "Slap Whore!"?
Me: He didn't...and please never say that again.

I'm certain that he didn't know what he was even saying. Regardless, I don't want his preschool teachers to think that his father is a pimp.

This afternoon saw Isaac breaking off two gems. Off and on, we watched the original Star Wars trilogy, starting with "Episode IV: A New Hope." When the Mos Eisley Spaceport scene with Han Solo and Greedo came up, Isaac made me a proud parent.

Isaac: Is Han gonna shoot first?
Me (beaming): Most likely.

And finally, during the scene at Jabba's palace during the opening 20 minutes of "Episode VI: Return of the (Muthafuckin') Jedi," Isaac asked "Does Jabba speak Korean?"

I said no, but in fairness, I'm basing that on rumors.

I'll have to get back to you about that one.

A few days ago, Isaac absolutely blew my mind. Not only did he blow my mind, but he left me perplexed.

We were sitting at the kitchen table having dinner when started asking me which I like better, which one is funnier; this or that...this or that? Finally, after going back and forth between kinds of food, songs, shows etc,etc, he asked the one question that I

A: Have never been asked, and
B: Will probably never be asked again.

Isaac: Would you rather eat a remote control...or an ear?
Me: I'd rather eat a remo...Wait! No, an ear. I'd rather eat an ear.

Of course, he was just being silly, but what a question! I was almost too quick to say that I'd rather eat a remote, but let's be serious...I can EAT an ear. As revolting as the idea of ingesting an ear can be, imagine trying to eat a large piece of hard plastic.

But before committing to the ear choice, I'd have to be given a little bit more information. For instance, if the ear is from a pig, no problem. People eat those shits with hot sauce all the time. Some actually enjoy them. On the other hand, however, what if the ear was from a loved one. Furthermore, why would I be forced or asked to eat an ear in the first place? Then again, in reality, I honestly can't think of any situation in which I'd rather consume a remote control than ANY ear. Maybe if the ear belonged to Rosalie, I'd go with the remote option, but that's it. I've always thought Isaac's ears looked delicious. Not to mention, he'd rather eat my ear than a remote control just on basic principle, so why should I spare him?

This post is as ludicrous as it is morbid.